What If Lum Returned to Earth Right Away?
by Pyeknu
Summary: Alternate history version of The Seventh Shipgirl, different from What If Yonaga Came Home Early? At the suggestion of the Seventh Carrier herself, Lum and her friends are allowed to return to Earth right after the events of Only You. When they get back to Tomobiki, they learn that Ataru has changed in very dramatic ways...and he's no longer going to put up to his "wife".


**_DISCLAIMER:_ _Concurrent with fair dealing clauses of the_ Copyright Act _(R.S.C., 1985, c. C-42) of Canada and fair use clauses in copyright legislation in other nations, this is a work that was created solely for entertainment purposes. Furthermore, it is posted freely on the Internet without expectation or requirement of remuneration._**

* * *

 ** _Aboard United States Starship_ New Jersey _in orbit over Tōkyō, Saturday 22_ _April 2017, noon..._**

"I am truly sorry to be the bearer of such terrible news, Your Excellency."

Hearing that statement from the fifth of the Yamato-class — despite her being the _**first**_ to be commissioned even if her crew had actually been made part of Unit 731 to hide her existence from spies — Josiah Bartlet smiled as he nodded. "Your apology is more than accepted, Captain Itō. Much that I personally realize that it is not your way, there are calls now to have your crew posthumously awarded the Presidential Unit Citation for their actions defending us while you were operating in the Arctic basin all on your own. Believe me, hearing Abyssal leaders speak fearfully of the 'Angry One' probably helped a lot of people within reach of you to avoid being deluged by attacks similar to what happened in Blood Week."

Hearing that, Yonaga's lips quirked into a smile. "My personal honour would make me humbly ask that such a reward be posthumous, Your Excellency," the tall aircraft carrier with the silver-shot black hair and the stormy grey eyes stated as she regarded the former governor of New Hampshire with an amused look. "Much that Commander Ross' memories tell me how coveted such an award is, the memories of my other crew would demand that I refuse such a decoration."

"Service to His Imperial Majesty being its own reward."

That was Leo McGarry, who was seated beside his principal in the wardroom of the starship replica of the second of the Iowa-class battleships. "Indeed, sir," Yonaga responded as her own sisters sent her concerned looks. "Again, you honour me and my late crew for thinking so highly of us that you would bestow your highest unit commendation reward to them for their — and my — actions since our escape from Sano Bay, Your Excellency. Perhaps we can discuss this another time. The issue concerning Miss Wakefield's work to protect our part of the solar system from the alien monsters is of greater concern."

"The captain is quite right, Jed," Prime Minister Justin Trudeau said from the president's left; the Canadian leader was seated beside Prime Minister Abe Shinzō, who had come up to _New Jersey_ representing the Heavenly Sovereign.

"So what can we do?" Abe wondered as he gazed on Bartlet. "Once the aliens recover from what Lord Nengmek'i did, they'll be back on Earth quickly. We can't stop their incursions into the solar system as originally planned, not for at least three weeks. According to Chancellor Nakkyek, the people wounded at the Onishuto Cathedral will be out of hospital in two weeks. Much that we've hidden these starships from their probes since the Liberation, with people learning of what Ataru did..."

Grim nods all around as people considered that.

"Why not allow them to come back now?"

Eyes locked on Yonaga. "Onē-sama, isn't that risky?" Yamato fretfully asked; thanks to the starship's omniversal translation fields, people could speak their native languages with ease and be understood by all.

The aircraft carrier's lips turned into a huntsman's leer. "Life is full of risk, Yasuko. That's what makes it worth living." As the other shipgirls seated at the table smirked or laughed on hearing that observation, Yonaga added, "It would be well within the powers of Lady K'ekhech to heal them of the wounds her principal unleashed yesterday. It could be considered a peace offering. Once they've recovered and elect to return back, we let them come back...and then _**deluge**_ them."

"Force them to confront the reality of what living on Earth entails," Abe concluded. "That has risks, Yoiko-san."

"As I said before, Shinzō-san, life is full of risk."

People considered that. "Go on, Captain," Bartlet bade...

* * *

 _ **The Seventh Shipgirl  
**_ **Alternate History Story #2  
** _ **What If Lum Returned to Earth Right Away?  
**_ by Fred Herriot

Based on _The Seventh Shipgirl_ , created by Fred Herriot.

Including characters and situations from _Kantai Collection_ , developed by Kadokawa Games; _The Seventh Carrier_ , created by Peter Albano; _Mahō Sensei Negima_ , created by Akamatsu Ken; _Katekyō Hitman Reborn_ , created by Amano Akira; _Azumanga Daiō_ , created by Azuma Kiyohiko; _Koihime Musō_ , created by BaseSon; _Men In Black_ , created by Lowell Cunningham; _Sweet Valley High_ , created by Francine Pascal; _Harry Potter_ , written by Joanna K. Rowling; _The West Wing_ , created by Aaron Sorkin; _Urusei Yatsura_ and _Ranma 1/2_ , created by Takahashi Rumiko; the _Suzumiya Haruhi_ series, created by Tanigawa Nagaru; _normalman_ , created by Jim Valentino; and _Stargate SG-1_ , created by Brad Wright and Jonathan Glassner.

Also including characters and situations from _Belated Battleships_ , created by the JMPer; _Greatest Generation_ , created by sasahara17; _Harry Potter and the Shipgirls_ , created by Harry Leferts; _Gaijin Teitoku_ , written by IJNFleetadmiral; _Misuteru_ , created by Brian Drozd; _Urusei Yatsura: The Senior Year_ , created by Mike Smith and Fred Herriot; and _Phoenix From the Ashes_ , _Magic and Canada_ and _The End of the Circus_ , created by Fred Herriot.

* * *

 _ **Note:**_ _Yet another alternate history plot bunny from_ The Seventh Shipgirl _. This one is derived from a change concerning the imposition of travel restrictions into the inner part of the solar system thanks to the work of the_ _ **Academician**_ _(Elizabeth Wakefield of_ Sweet Valley High _). As stated in_ What If Yonaga Came Home Early? _, the events of the first_ Urusei Yatsura _movie_ Only You _occurred on 15-19 April 2017 in the timeline of_ The Seventh Shipgirl _. This alt-verse begins right after that._

 _This short is also inspired by comments made by_ _ **Baran3**_ _at Sufficient Velocity._

* * *

 _ **Tomobiki, approaching Tomobiki Senior High School, Monday 24 April 2017, after breakfast...**_

"You, too?"

"Tcha! You, too?!"

"Duh! Ain't it obvious, Aneki?!"

"Oi, Ao-cha! Quit sounding like a freaking echo machine, huh?!"

Both Redet Lum and Miyake Shinobu winced as their film replicas Redet Danu and Miyake Saiko glared at them. Like the originals, the "gang twins" were dressed in the dark blue winter Tomobiki High seifuku, though they bore black ties with a golden upraised phoenix-like insignia on them; that beautiful symbol indicated their genetic "true" birth race descent from Sagussa, the fabled world of the Maidens of the Eternal Voyager to the warlord's daughter even if both Danu and Saiko were technically bioroids created thanks to a once-abandoned factory that had been on Phentax Twelve before it had been liberated by the Noukiites over nine months ago. Floating beside his cousins was Redet Ten, who had a giddy smile on his face; having TWO versions of Lum was okay with him...even if one had a potty-mouth worse than Shigaten Benten.

"Sorry..." the two "originals" eeped.

"Better!" Saiko stated. "C'mon, Danu. We have to get to school so we can do the Lottery and get into classes."

"Right, right," Danu said as she floated after her "gang friend".

Lum, Shinobu and Ten quickly went after them. Soon arriving at the west gate leading onto the school grounds, they stopped to see the considerable crowd of boys and girls standing close to Mendō Shūtarō and the four core members of Lum's Stormtroopers...who, like the warlord's daughter from Uru and the devout Catholic descent from Kyūshū, also had "film replica" sisters accompanying them. Much to Danu's and Saiko's personal amusement, Shūtarō's twin Mendō Tachiko was dressed in a silver seifuku matching the colour of her brother's gakuran, though she did wear the windrider tie of the Fifth Republic of Sagussa indicating her true genetic ancestry. Before Onsen Mark could try to calm the crowd down, Danu snapped her fingers, setting off a bursting spark of bio-electricity into the air. Everyone jolted before they turned...

...then all the boys shrieked in delight on seeing Danu standing there besides their favourite schoolmate. Before they could all swarm her, Lum's twin lashed out with her lightning to burn a line in the street before them, making many fall over each other as they stopped themselves just in time to avoid being fried. As silence fell, Danu lowered her arm as she glared at them enough to cake the boys in layers of mud. "Oi! You're _**crowding**_ me!" she snarled, showing her fangs as Lum stared in confusion at her. "Tokiko!" she barked out to the twin to the Stormtroopers' leader Aisuru Satoshi, Aisuru Tokiko.

"Yo, Boss?"

"Beat these lifeless fools down if they start causing trouble, okay?"

"Right, Boss!" the Stormtroopers' sisters all chanted at once.

"Would you desire the assistance of my family in maintaining order here, Danu-san?" Tachiko then wondered.

As the girls all gaped in shock at this quite visible change from what had been normal in Tomobiki over the last year or so, Danu shook her head. "Not unless Sensei there's cool with it, Tachiko," she said as she nodded at Onsen, making the vice-principal/homeroom teacher for Class 2-4 gape in surprise at such a show of support from this effectively alien bōsōzoku. "'Sides, the Big Y and the Black Dragon are on their way here now to keep it all cool in this place."

Hearing that, people blinked in confusion. "Hai, that is true," Tachiko noted. "We don't wish to deny Itō-taisa and Hyde-chūsa the chance to properly discipline the delinquents in this school. It wouldn't be civilized."

Danu laughed as people continued to blink in bewilderment while Onsen looked almost ready to break down and cry...

* * *

 _ **Class 2-4, before the start of homeroom period...**_

"Ah! Ataru-kun! Ohayō!" A surprised gasp then escaped Inu Chigaiko. "Oh! You, too, eh?"

"Hai, hai, Chigaiko-chan! Osu!" Moroboshi Ataru said as he walked into class, accompanied by a pretty yet slender female version of himself in the dark blue Tomobiki seifuku, she bearing the tiger-protecting-the-chrysanthemum mon of the Moroboshi Clan of Mutsu on a black field for a tie. "How does it feel to finally lose that damned curse in the first place?"

Chigaiko grinned as some of the people in Class 2-4 looked sheepish. "Please tell me that Negako-san was able to get rid of the source-point of that damned curse. I wouldn't trust Sakurambō or her idiot uncle to do something about that."

"It'll be dealt with when a certain you-know-what is taken out of the Ginza here in town later today," Ataru said as he moved to stand behind the lectern. "Hiromi-chan, you can sit at the spot to the right of my seat, alright."

"Hai, Onii-san," Moroboshi Hiromi said as she moved to take that seat.

"Hmpth! She's just as ugly as the a-ho is!"

As all the boys snickered with delight on hearing Ten's appraisal, Danu shook her head. "Your funeral, Jariten," she muttered.

As Ten awked on hearing his new cousin say his quite despised full given name, Hiromi's eyes narrowed. "Indeed, Danu-san, you're more than correct. He is nothing more than a _**spoiled brat**_ who deserves to be taken over the knee and SPANKED for all the trouble HE has caused Onii-san and everyone in this long-suffering town because that yūjo who WAS Onii-san's mother refuses to properly discipline him!" As Ten gargled as his hands moved to protect his rear, Hiromi's brown eyes softened. "Still, Redet-san, please accept my deepest condolences at the loss of your father two years ago in that horrible fire in Onishuto." As Ten gasped in shock and Lum gaped while many of the girls' eyes teared in sympathy, Hiromi added, "Given that horrid incident transformed your mother into that psychotic maniac we've seen come here, it's more than understandable why you fled to Earth to be with your cousin." Ignoring Ten's stunned look at her calling his mother THAT, Ataru's twin sat at her desk. "DO remember you are a GUEST on this planet, Redet-san. Your past behaviour speaks loudly AGAINST you!" As Ten squawked in denial, Hiromi's eyes narrowed. "Must I speak the _**Scary Word**_ to make you behave?"

Both Ten and Lum shrieked on hearing THAT threat. "Jariten, go home," Ataru then bade in a voice that seemed to chill the whole room fifty degrees. "Don't come back here; by lunchtime, the whole school grounds will be _**totally shielded**_ against you AND anything you can try to disrupt lives here. I'm not taking the blame for YOUR bratty behaviour anymore!"

"Darling!" Lum cried out.

His own eyes narrowed. "Oh! You finally decided to notice me, _**Redet**_ -san?"

As his "wife" gasped in horror on his calling her THAT, Ataru sighed. "Jariten, homeroom class starts in five minutes. Out!"

Ten jolted. "Make me, a-ho!"

Ataru smirked as his left eye suddenly glowed gold. " **As Danu just said, Jariten...your funeral.** "

As the class — save the film replicas — all croaked on seeing that and hearing the powerful metallic twang in their class representative's voice, a bolt of pure starlight leapt out from that glowing orb, ripping into Ten with the force of a cutting laser. While the Oni preschooler screamed in agony from something that made his cousin's lightning seem ticklish in comparison, Hiromi raised her hand as ki bloomed over her palm. As Shitto "Perm" Kōsuke's twin sister Nijiko threw open a window, a bolt of energy burst from Hiromi's hand to literally PUNCH Ten out of the class, way clear of the school grounds.

" **Thank you, Nijiko, Hiromi** ," Ataru said in that same voice as his eye-beam vanished...then he seemed to scowl. " **Would you ALL take your seats, please? Onsen-sensei is waiting by the door now.** "

The gang twins and Chigaiko turned in their chairs to see their siblings and everyone else in the class now crowded at the back of the room, mortal terror etched on their faces. "M-m-Moroboshi...!" Shūtarō sputtered.

The front door slid open, revealing Tsuruya Rumiko and Fujinami Ryūnosuke. As they walked in, they stopped to see the whole class cowering from their iinchō save for the people who were in on certain secrets. "Ah, man! What the hell did you have to do, Moroboshi?" the "heir" to the Hamachaya said as she moved to take her seat at the head of Hiromi's row.

" **They are risking** _ **fifty point**_ **deductions from their disciplinary scores if they don't sit down in the next minute, Ryūnosuke** ," Ataru coldly declared as Rumiko came up with several sheets of paper. Nodding his thanks to the class' only declared homosexual, he then fixed his gaze on the others. " **All of you...** " he began...before barking out, " _ **SIT DOWN!**_ "

"DARLING...!" Lum gasped.

" _ **DANU!**_ "

 _KK-KKRACK!_

Everyone gasped on seeing a semi-conscious Lum nicely roasted thanks to her sister's bio-electricity. "She's down, Darling," Danu said as she blew the "cordite" from her fingertips, an amused smile crossing her face.

Ataru nodded as Rumiko took her seat. " **Sit down** ," he icily ordered.

In the literal flash of an eye, everyone was in their seats even if they looked ready to soil their trousers at what just happened. Watching this from the open doorway, Onsen looked ready to break down and cry at such a sight...

* * *

 _ **The clock tower, morning study hall (two hours before lunch)...**_

"He's possessed by something!"

Hearing Shinobu's conclusion, many of the people from Class 2-4 who had sneaked into the clock tower belfry to meet over what had been happening nodded. "Agreed," Megane snarled. "We need Sakura-sensei to get whatever it is out of him."

Nods all around...before a snort escaped the one girl seated on the guard rail over the open pit from which the clock tower bell hung over. "He won't go to the fake priestess, 'Toshi," Danu warned with an amused smile. "His legal guardian signed the form that forbids the bitch from being his school nurse. It's the _**legit**_ nurse that'll see him." That, everyone knew, was Chikamatsu Fusae, who had been the nurse at Tomobiki High for a half-decade. "He's got every right to walk out of that nurse's station if the fake priestess decides to be her normal ass self!" She smirked as she exchanged knowing looks with Saiko, who was standing guard at the ladder hatch to the upper floor. "See that bill, Saiko?"

"Yeah, Danu!" Shinobu's twin snorted. " _ **Five hundred million yen?!**_ Whoo! I knew those two were gluttons, but WOW...!"

All the boys gasped. "Ataru's not going to...?" Megane began.

"He's got a direct line to your top boss, 'Toshi," Danu warned. "One word to the Top Boss in Kyōto and the fake priestess is out of this town so fast, her head will spin. AND she'll be cursed with all the shit she laid on Darling, too!"

The boys croaked in horror while a distant sneeze echoed from the nurse's station on the main floor thanks to Sakurambō Sakura. "Danu!" a still-charred Lum moaned. "Can't you see it?! Darling's possessed by something...!"

"Ao-cha! News flash!" her twin sharply cut her off. "He was possessed during the time you LIED to him about your being MARRIED to him!" As Lum croaked and all the boys gaped in surprise on hearing that revelation, Danu shook her head. "Using a TAG RACE to get a MARRIAGE TAG?! Shame, Ao-cha! Shame!" Seeing the boys' eyes widen in delight on hearing that clue, Danu made a "bye-bye" motion with her hand. "Have fun fighting off all the PROPER marriage tags, Ao-cha...!"

" _ **LUM-SAN! I LOVE YOU! MARRY ME!**_ "

Lum screamed in fright as she flew out the west window while all the boys surged after her...only to literally fall over the guard rail and drop into a pile of idiocy on the front steps over two floors below! As the girls screamed in horrified shock on seeing that Shūtarō had nearly broken his neck — he had been one of several to shout that declaration even if Megane's voice had been loudest — a voice shouted out from below, "Oi! What the hell's going on up there anyway?!"

Danu looked over her shoulder and down towards the second floor. "They just learned you're still single, Darling! Not to mention how to 'win' Ao-cha's love!" she called to Ataru, who was down by the west-side stairwell.

As boys nearby gasped on hearing that, Ataru sighed. "Fine! I'll recommend fifty point deductions from the lot for disrupting classes! Not to mention sealing that clock tower off from the students! Make sure you're in class by next bell!"

"Hai!" both Danu and Saiko called out.

"That goes for all the girls up there, too!"

"Hai!"

As Ataru walked off to return to Class 2-4, Onsen stood nearby, accompanied by the former homeroom teacher for the previous year's Class 1-4, Hanawa Mitsu. "My! Moroboshi-kun's really showing diligence in being their iinchō, isn't he?" the seemingly clueless math teacher mused as he gazed upon the vice-principal. "Um, Onsen-sensei, are you alright...?"

Onsen shuddered as he tried not to weep in delight. "It's a miracle...!"

Hanawa blinked, then he smiled...

* * *

 _ **Class 2-4, an hour before lunch...**_

"Math class is cancelled, Sensei?" Shinobu asked.

"Hai, Miyake-kun!" Hanawa stated as he stood at the head of the room, with Ataru standing next to him. All the boys who had been in the clock tower after morning recess were now swathed in bandages from nearly killing themselves chasing after Lum on learning she was effectively single, thus Shūtarō wasn't able to properly help out in his position as fukuiinchō. "We're receiving honoured guests in a few minutes who will spend the rest of the week here to ensure that what happened over the last year will not badly reflect on everyone now that the information blocks concerning the Abyssal War have been lowered." As many in the class gasped on hearing that, Hanawa smiled. "Please make them feel welcome here, minna-san."

With that, he nodded to Ataru before stepping out of the room. The others in the class watched him go, then they perked as Hiromi sighed. "I've long suspected he was a lot smarter that he always let on. I'm pleased to see I was right."

"He had to have been, Hiromi-chan," Ataru mused as he picked up a chalk and moved to sketch things on the blackboard.

Everyone blinked on seeing what was there:

 **キャサリン・ハイド** 中佐 (米海軍)  
CDR Katharine Hyde USN  
第62戦艦 USS **ニュー・ジャージー  
** BB-62 USS _New Jersey_

 **伊藤よいこ** 1等海佐 (海上自衛隊)  
CAPT Itō Yoiko JMSDF  
第12大型空母 天陛軍 **代永  
** CVB-12 THG _Yonaga_

" _ **New Jersey...?!**_ "

That was a wide-eyed Megane. "Hai, Satoshi, it's her," Ataru stated as he placed the chalk down and faced the others. "Thanks to the fact that the PSIA put in a pretty nasty information block around town concerning our deep sea friends — aided by the Kantō Magical Association up in Mahora — you're all going to have to catch up on a lot of stuff in the next while. Be warned, all the FAKE NEWS you've long seen in the papers and the television didn't transmit out there; the TRUTH about certain events..." — here, he gazed in veiled amusement at the leader of the Stormtroopers — "...starting from what YOU instigated right after the Tag Race when you brought that space taxi down, Satoshi..." As Megane squawked on sensing what Ataru was implying, the latter shook his head. "...is what's accepted around the world these days. And before you start complaining about my 'lies', I've already admitted my responsibility for what happened to the _**International Court of Justice**_ in the _**Hague**_. You better arrange to do the same if you don't want _**al-Qā'idah**_ to put a DEATH MARK on your head, Satoshi."

As Megane and the other core Stormtroopers croaked in horror on hearing that, Lum blinked, clearly not getting it. "What do you mean you went to the Netherlands, Darling?!" she demanded. "You've only been back here since...!"

"A year ago on my birthday."

Silence.

More silence.

Still more silence.

Then...

"What...?" Shinobu eeped.

Ryūnosuke snorted. "Shit! Tell them everything, Moroboshi!"

"They're not ready for all of it, Ryū-chan," Ataru warned her. "If you want to...?"

A laugh escaped the tomboy. "Yeah, sure!" She faced the others. "When that dragon came to crash that fake wedding...!"

" _ **IT WASN'T FAKE...!**_ "

 _KK-KKRACK!_

As a dazed Lum dropped into her chair thanks to Danu's lightning, the boys winced as it dawned on them that everything that could be done to control her, even when it concerned her "husband", was now allowed. "Go on, Ryūnosuke," Danu bade.

"Thanks, Danu!" Ryūnosuke breathed out as the girls seemed to brighten on seeing how much _**Lum**_ was getting it this time. "Anyhow, when the dragon came to crash the fake wedding, he teleported Moroboshi back in time and sent him to a Noukiite planet named Okusei. Same day his 'past self' first met Lum at his house in town, his 'future self' met up with Lady K'ekhech on Okusei." As people in class remembered the flame-haired Noukiite known more commonly throughout the local cluster as the "Dragonspeaker", she added, "He spent most of six months there learning the shit of what goes down in the galaxy, then he came back to Earth and stayed in Italy until the whole time paradox thing was no longer a threat to the Universe. Once it was all clear, he came back to town, packed his shit and got out of the house in preparation to move to Sasebo to be a special boatswain's mate to the shipgirls there. He can't do it now while the alien idiots are here causing shit, though. That's why Kathy-san and Yoiko-san are coming by and staying in town a bit. There's still some stuff to clear out of here."

Here, she focused on Lum, who was still too stunned to react. As the boys all shuddered on realizing that their favourite classmate was seen as one of those who needed to be "cleared out" of Tomobiki, the girls blinked. "So who's this Yonaga?" Marubeya Momoe asked as she indicated the blackboard and the other name listed there. "I've never heard of her."

"You wouldn't have been able to learn a thing about her, Marubeya-san," Ataru answered, causing most of the girls to jolt; save for Ryūnosuke, Rumiko, Chigaiko and all the film replicas in the room, he had addressed everyone — even Lum! — by _**family**_ name since the start of classes. "She's the fifth of the Yamato-class warships, Warship No. 797. Like her sister Shizuka-chan — Shinano, I mean — Yoiko-san was converted to an aircraft carrier, but that was done right from the start when she was built in secret at Maizuru. And yes, she was built there; all they did when they launched her was flood the graving dock where she was constructed to get her into the harbour. She actually hit the water a week after Yasuko-san — that's Yamato, by the way — was launched. She was completed and ready to go by September in 1941. And that's when those genocidal halfwits in the Imperial Army got this wild idea of actually 'commissioning' her into _**Unit 731**_ of all groups!"

As the whole class croaked in horror, a voice called out, "It's true."

Eyes locked on Tachiko. "What do you mean, Tachiko-chan?!" Gekasawa Kumiko demanded.

The new heiress to Japan's largest family fortune took a deep breath. "During the war, Ojii-sama served in the Kempeitai as an officer." As many of the girls in class gasped at such a revelation and Shūtarō shuddered in visible embarrassment, Tachiko added, "He was in charge of the special security force that protected the special dock where Yonaga-sama was constructed. He never knew what happened to her when she was completed and 'commissioned'..." — here, she made quote marks with her fingers — "...but kept his silence over the years until her final fate was determined. Which it was while all of you were gone on Uru as Ataru-san can attest...when it was revealed that Yonaga-sama is the _**Angry One**_."

Another chorus of croaks and gasps filled the room. "Isn't that...the one that ALL the Abyssals...are SCARED TO DEATH OF?!" Urayamu Akira, "Chibi" of the Stormtroopers, then eeped as many of the boys quaked in terror.

 _Such a monster was coming HERE...?!_

"The very same one, Akira," Ataru said with a churlish smile which made many of the boys shudder as they realized their class representative was going to milk this for all the payback he could get against them.

"But...what happened to her...?" Momoe demanded.

"Allow me to explain, young lady."

People gasped on hearing that voice, then they jolted on hearing the hallway floorboards creak, which made them turn...

...before a colossus about the same size as Lum's father Redet Invader or her ex-fiancé Seq Rei in his ushitora form ducked through the doorway. As people gaped in awe at such a severe-looking woman dressed in a green haori and dark grey hakama with the accoutrements that marked her as an aircraft carrier shipgirl in the traditional style like Akagi and Kaga — with large levels of extra armoured plating all over, not to mention what looked like modern OTO Melara 76 millimetre Mark 75 naval cannons and Raytheon Phalanx CIWS Mark 15 mounts on her shoulder guards and at the top of her chest plate — the newcomer exchanged a polite bow with Ataru, then she turned to look behind her. "Katharine-san..."

An annoyed groan escaped the strawberry blonde Amazon-like woman with blue eyes behind aviator sunglasses as she ducked into the room to avoid the frame of the doorway. As she normally did when she wasn't doing something official, the first "public" American shipgirl was in her normal "sea uniform" of a dark blue US Navy shirt under a padded vest over track runner's shorts that showed off a lot of muscular leg. "There are days I just fucking HATE Japanese building construction, Yoiko," the second of the Iowa-class battleships mused as she walked into the classroom, the floorboards creaking as she made every step. "The way this place is now, it's a fucking miracle to me it's still standing after all the shit that's gone down in this place thanks to the alien that's stinking up the classroom now! Can someone dump the bitch outside?! It REEKS here!"

Danu smirked. "No problem, Big Dragon."

Before any of the boys could stop her, the "gang leader" of that film about school violence back in September picked her sister up, then floated her to an open window to dump her outside. A second later, the sound of a body smacking hard into the rock pathway that orbited the school building echoed in the classroom, that followed by Lum's cry of pain. " _ **ITTACHA!**_ "

"Thanks, kiddo," Jersey said with a deep breath, then she gazed at Ataru. "Oi! No hug, Ataru?! Bobbie won't be jealous!"

"If it is because of your so-called 'wife', she can be _**beheaded**_ for all her crimes against _**humanity**_ , Ataru-san," Yonaga dryly mused, making all the boys in class gasp again on hearing THAT sort of threat concerning Lum.

"Too easy, Yoiko-san," Ataru mused as he walked over to allow Jersey to warmly hug him. "Hey! Go easy on me, Kathy!" he protested as the American moved to twirl him around the room. "Damn! Isn't your fiancé treating you right?!"

"HEY!" Jersey yelped.

Yonaga laughed as the people in Class 2-4 save for those who had been in the know about Ataru's time-trip all goggled...

* * *

 _ **The west lawn, an hour after lunch...**_

"So let me see if I get this all straight, Darling," Aruka Ran said as she gazed in amusement at Ataru. "You people have been fighting these Abyssal things straight up for almost _**six years**_ — with the magicals having fought them to protect their silly secrecy statute for a lot longer before that — and the only way to take them down and reclaim your seas is to literally summon the _**ch'uongtechhu**_ of warships from your last world war in the form of magical BIOROIDS?!"

Here, she indicated New Jersey, who was enjoying a beautiful apple pie that a group of freshmen girls had baked for her in home economics class before lunch. Everyone was still on the lawn relaxing on blankets as they enjoyed tea in an unofficial late celebration of Hanami; the actual season for Metro Tōkyō had passed nearly a month ago. "Exactly right, Aruka-san," Ataru answered from beside Yonaga, even if he inwardly winced on seeing Ran recoil slightly at being addressed by her family name, which was NEVER done even with strangers on Uru and her colonies. _Sorry, Ran-chan...but for the sake of far too many, even on YOUR home planet, I can't play that game anymore_ , he mused to himself before sipping his tea. "The first summons were done by Negi Springfield, that genius teen magical who works up at the Mahora Academy; this was right at the end of Blood Week. That's when the Chihaya sisters came back." He hummed. "Anne, Sarah, Isabel and Harumi."

Hearing those names, the leader of the Tomobiki High Kanmusu Appreciation Society blinked before he smiled. "Kongō, Hiei, Kirishima and Haruna, right?" Mifune Hideyuki then asked as he gave his old classmate a knowing look.

"The same. Hey, girls!"

The students seated close to the visiting shipgirls perked before they turned...

...then Hideyuki whooped in delight on seeing all four of the Kongō-class fast battleships seated nearby, a proper table with chairs around the table as they relaxed, with Haruna specifically moving to serve tea. As many of the others on the lawn all yelled and cheered the arrival of the heroines of the Battle of Tōkyō Bay that effectively ended Blood Week and heralded the full commencement of the general Abyssal War, the fourth of her class came over with a cup of tea. "Harumi made your special tea, Yoiko-san," she said as she handed the cup over to the fifth of the Yamato-class. "Onē-sama still thinks it tastes weird, but if this allows you to eat properly, Harumi will have some ready for you when you need it."

"You have my thanks, Harumi-san," Yonaga said as she sipped the tea. As people nearly sniffed the odd herbal scent, she added, "I trust relations with this one Wo-class carrier you discovered in the Izu Islands hasn't soured."

"Oh, relax, Yoiko!" Kongō scolded before nodding her thanks as Kirishima handed her a cup of her preferred Ceylon tea. "Wokyū-chan's harmless. She brings in fresh supplies to us at Yokosuka every chance she gets."

"Ever since she brought food into the base UNARMED when Harumi-chan there got sick once," Ataru added.

That made the carrier gape. "This is true?"

"Hai, all true," Haruna affirmed before she perked. "Ah! Negako-sensei!"

People turned as a slightly older version of Moroboshi Hiromi in a black martial arts gi with matching black hakama trousers approached the crowd. "Are the grounds of this school truly safe now, Negako-sama?" Yonaga asked as the grandmaster of Saikō Jinseijutsu-ryū and the Steward of the Moroboshi Clan sat seiza beside her brother. "Given the ill feeling of the wa of this town, even those blood ki wards you just erected may not stop the yōma from causing issues."

"Like that old willow tree at the northwest end of the grounds?" Kirishima mused as she poured a cup of tea for Negako.

Yonaga looked over. "Hai, Isabel-san, that is a very decrepit thing, isn't it?"

"Considering what the damned old yōkai did to me that one time, if you want to turn it into kindling, go right ahead," Ataru sourly noted. "Thing's as much of a fucking menace as that stupid dream demon from February!"

The girls hearing this scowled as they remembered that weird dream they had during the time of the winter festival. "Oi! Is it true?" New Jersey asked. As the others gazed at her, the battleship pointed to where Class 2-4 was. "The rich boy squeezed in a _**main battle tank**_ into the classroom so you could go and have that Nazi-themed tea shop for this fair of yours?"

"Sadly so, Kathy-chan," Ataru stated as he gazed in amusement at the small crowd nearby; thanks to the presence of the seventh carrier of Operation Z, Lum and her main followers had been forced to sit farther from her "husband" than she desired. As Kirishima came over with Negako's tea, he shrugged. "I know it would be pretty offensive for someone like you, but..."

"Flip a swastika backwards, it's a Buddhist symbol. Yeah, Ataru, I know. I know." Here, Jersey smirked. "Still, anyone who likes to venerate the fucking _**Nazis**_ of all people needs a good bitch-slap upside the head, then be SHOT!"

"Or to be beheaded," Yonaga coolly observed.

People smirked while the Stormtroopers all awked as they stared wide-eyed at the two shipgirls who had said that. As Ataru snickered in delight on seeing his four chief tormentors when it came to Lum be publicly threatened like that, Negako shook her head in amusement at such antics. Noting Lum looking very frustrated at the fact that her "husband" was finally moving to put her "stormtroopers" down like that, Ran could only smirk. She had long figured out how much the warlord's daughter always depended on Megane and his brigade of idiots when it came to keeping Ataru in line. While a lot of people at the school still found the whole idea of their most infamous peer experiencing a year-long TIME LOOP too hard to comprehend, the daughter of one of Redet Invader's old allies in the Urusian Union Congress understood the implications. And while she was inwardly afraid of the fact that her "childhood friend" might try to go back to Seq Rei — which would normally make Ran want to find a way to force Lum back together with Ataru — the rose-haired Seishin-Urusian teen KNEW that the last year hadn't been a bed of roses for Earth's tag champion. Especially with what a once-unknown SISTER of Ran's had told her about a hellish day in a place called "Morningstar Plain" on Okusei over a year ago that Moroboshi Ataru endured.

Nope!

Ran didn't see herself as _**suicidal**_...!

 _Oh, is poor Lum-chan going to be in for a shock!_ she mused to herself, inwardly snickering in anticipation.

She didn't see Ataru and Negako both gazing at her, then the former cleared his throat. "How long do we have left, Onē-san?"

"Actually..."

The ground began to quake, causing people to stop and look around.

"...right now," Negako finished.

" _ **HEY! LOOK AT THAT!**_ "

Hearing the shout from Kanzaki Ryūha of Class 2-5, Ataru looked at him, then gazed off to the north to see what appeared to be an abandoned HOUSE being elevated from the ground. As many of the students and staff on the lawn gaped at such a sight, cries of shock from others revealed that at least SIX more such buildings were being lifted by unseen hands out of the cityscape. As screams and shouted questions began to echo from the houses neighbouring the school grounds, Negako gazed in amusement at Ran. "You do recognize that particular pattern, do you not, Ran?" she asked in her normal toneless voice.

The daughter of a famous Urusian Marine Corps commander blinked before she looked again...then her skin turned sallow as it hit her. A shudder then quaked her body as she turned to glare murderously at Lum, her fangs splaying as her true Urusian looks came out. " _ **LUM! WHAT IN THE MAIDENS' NAMES IS A**_ **STARBASE SELF-DESTRUCT DEVICE** _ **DOING**_ **HERE** _ **?!**_ "

As Lum gasped in horror on hearing that and many of the student squawked in disbelief on hearing what Ran had just called whatever it was being lifted out of their town, Negako calmly sipped her tea. "Do not blame Lum or your government for such a foolish act, Ran," she stated in a clear voice. "You can certainly conclude who was truly responsible."

Ran blinked as she looked in confusion at Ataru's sister...

"Ran-chan, look up," Ataru bade.

That made the rose-haired alien teen look up, as did others...

" _ **IT'S A SPACE WARP!**_ " Daremo Hideyuki, "Kakugari" of the Stormtroopers, cried out.

"Time warp, too!" Ataru called out. "To NINE MONTHS AGO!"

As Lum spun around to stare wide-eyed at him, Ran's jaw dropped as a look of total joy crossed her face. " _ **ŌGI?!**_ " she exclaimed, pointing up as the darkness of deep space appeared in the middle of the warp, that dotted by HUNDREDS of warships coloured in the same orange-with-tiger stripes pattern used on Urusian vessels that had been seen over Earth in the last year. As people began to hiss at each other, she asked, "You're using HIS OWN BOMB against his FLEET?!"

"Ran-chan!" Ataru said. "I USED that bomb against that so-called 'army of Lum'." Here, he turned to glare resentfully at his "wife", which made her blanch as she realized he knew her dirtiest secret. "Get pictures, Ran-chan!" he said as he turned away from Lum to sip his tea. "I never got to see this happy day from THIS angle. You might want to send it to your friends."

Ran laughed as she set her cup down, then laid out on the blanket as she whipped out her cell phone, quickly calling up picture functions to get the shot of what would be one of the most glorious days in her life. As people watched this, the hexagon pattern of buildings slipped fully into the space warp over Tomobiki...to appear dozens of light years away and over nine months back in time in the space close to the twentieth world of a unique three-star system which was home to one of the most fascinating — and ANNOYING — sentient species in the local cluster, one which Ran despised with all her being...

People screamed out as a blinding flash of energy nearly blinded them, many ducking away as the hideous device that had once been hidden in the basement of an abandoned apartment block finally detonated. Ataru simply closed his eyes to prevent his being blinded from that brutal burst of power, then he smirked. "Space is a VACUUM, by the way!" he called out, which made people gape in shock at him. "Nothing's going to stop something with a THOUSAND times the power of the _**Tsar-bómba**_ from wiping out a fleet of THREE THOUSAND combat ships, crewed by over FIVE MILLION personnel!" He gazed at Lum, who was staring in disbelief at him, stunned that something she had privately longed to see happen had led to THIS!

"So ends...the ARMY OF LUM!" he coldly declared.

As Lum winced on hearing the chill in his voice, he turned to his tea while people around them began to shout questions her way. The shipgirls present smirked in amusement as Ran began to cackle in delight at what she was seeing...

* * *

 _ **The Tomobiki Sportsplaza, two hours before supper...**_

Shuddering as she glared at the book that had been handed to her by a new friend she had made since her return to Earth the previous morning, Shinobu took a deep breath before she placed the copy of _The Book of Lum_ onto a table before giving Lum a look that would bury the warlord's daughter in a mountain of mud. "You know, I try to respect you, Lum..." she said as her mother Kimiki squeezed her shoulders in support. "I try to understand you even if I find it hard to really like you. And then, something like THIS comes along...!" — here, she waved to the "holy book" that had been the effective bible for the vast majority of an entire RACE who saw Lum as their own arahitogami — "...and I'm reminded YET AGAIN how much of a MONSTER you really are!" she spat out, making her former rival wince. "Did you know about this, Ran-chan?"

"Know about it? I had no choice!" Ran spat, churlishly smiling at the fact that her own "childhood friend" was now in the hot seat. Since Lum hadn't confessed a thing even when the presence of her "most faithful" in town had been exposed, people's moods had completely soured against her even if people such as the Stormtroopers and Ataru's own mother still tried to defend her. "'Sinful Doubter Ran'! That's me!" She then turned to glare at the small group of just-revealed alien observers, who had been dragged hogtied to this place at the order of the elder mother of the Avalonians living in the "holy city", Shasta Ianson. Also present were three divisions of destroyers with rigging out and weapons pointed at them to make them behave. "Try as I might, I couldn't get these lifeless fools to stop peeking into my DIARY every chance they got to learn my 'holy wisdom'! Try and try again, they always got around everything I tried to do to protect my privacy!" She then sighed. "In the end, I just gave up," she finally admitted in a voice of ashes. "Of course, Lum-chan there never gave a SHIT about what all her friends went through because of these lifeless morons!" She contemptuously waved to the Niphentaxians there, making several of them squawk in outrage. "She probably LIKED their venerating her like they did all the time!" As Lum gasped in denial, Ran smirked. "After all, their leader was willing to drop a BIO-BOMB on a city of innocent people, killing FIVE MILLION of them just to kill off the dictator who tried to target Lum-chan here because her family supported dissidents from that world!" As the large crowd of people now gathered at the place where the Tag Race had been held over a year before cried out in horror on hearing that, Ran shook her head. "Yeah, with their 'goddess' here, I doubt they would have used the thing..."

"But its presence here was a threat to humanity, Ran-san," Yonaga coldly declared. She and New Jersey had been given chairs to use, with Tenryū and Tatsuta standing close to them and Ataru seated on a table between the two capital ships. "Not only that, the idea of threatening an entire race — No! MULTIPLE races! — due to a fear that a supposed dark _**arahitogami**_ could overcome their holy figure is nothing short of INSANITY!" Her grey eyes locked on the Niphentaxians, all of whom quailed at that huntsman's look. "While your veneration of all things Terran is actually quite the compliment to us all, the fact that your leader was so mad as to threaten us in THAT manner gave us no choice but to EXPEL you all from this planet until such time as you can develop your OWN civilization!" As many observers squawked in protest, the carrier's eyes narrowed. "Before you complain, remember the _**Yizibajohei**_ are also involved in this!" As all the aliens present — including a massive number of "Dappya" fish-like creatures who had swarmed into Tomobiki since the Tag Race — screeched in horror on hearing THAT term, Yonaga's eyes narrowed. "It's doesn't feel good being at the RECEIVING end of it, does it?"

"M-m-Madame Yonaga, you c-c-can't possibly make any d-d-deals with th-th-THEM!" one of the fish aliens sputtered. "They're insane! You're already threatened because of the Abyssal beasts! Do you wish a METAHUMAN war here, too?!"

"The _**War Hawks**_ have been back since 2012, tuna-head," Jersey cut in. "Our planet's _**Jewel Warrior**_ is now commander of Canada's special forces." As many of the people there gasped on hearing that, the battleship added, "Rumour has it all the survivors from Japan's Thunder Companies are busy keeping things safe when shipgirls can't get to people who need help. There are specialized warfare folk from dozens of countries helping out, never mind all the magicals helping us. Just because the folks on Yiziba..." — she smirked while many of the destroyers seeing this laughed as the aliens screeched on hearing THAT planet's name — "...are pretty anti-government doesn't mean they're that bad! One of them's moving now to seal off the inner part of our solar system from shitheads like you!" As the aliens all gasped, Jersey grinned. "The _**Academician**_."

Clouds of DOOM then appeared over the aliens as many of them seemed ready to throw up. Noting this, Inu Chigaiko gazed in confusion at the man she long had a crush on. "Who's the Academician, Ataru-kun?" she asked.

"She's the top-flight polymath hyper-genius on Yiziba," he answered, making the aliens wail again. "The rule of thumb on that planet is very simple when it comes to her: 'NEVER piss off the Academician'! Even my sister wouldn't cross her!"

Silence.

More silence.

Still more silence.

Then...

"You mean...!" a white-faced Megane gasped as he pointed to Hiromi.

"Don't be more of an idiot than you already are, Satoshi!" Ataru snidely quipped, making the leader of the Stormtroopers squawk. "I mean my OTHER sister! And no, I don't mean Onē-san here!" he added as he thumbed Negako, who was standing to his left rear behind the table. "Little deal I made with the Academician when I was on Okusei," he added, which made Lum shriek in disbelief and Ran gape at him. " _ **TARIKO!**_ " he then called out, cupping his mouth with his hands.

A flash of light beside Negako later...

"You raaaaaaaaaaaang...?"

Ataru looked behind him. "No more _Addams Family_ for you!"

A hmpth answered him. "Meanie!"

The aliens turned to look...

...then they shrieked in mortal terror as what appeared to be Moroboshi Hiromi's TWIN SISTER leapt over the table to sit beside Ataru, she dressed in an off-white jumpsuit possessing grey animal stripes on the sides, with black boots and belt...and a black animal's head insignia on the upper chest, the symbol of the Trickster of the Great Show of Life, _**Tuyuki**_. Seeing Moroboshi Tariko in the flesh, a pale-faced Lum leapt up, her body sparking. " _ **I'LL SAVE YOU, DARLING...!**_ "

 _KK-KRACK! POW! CRUNCH! SMASH! KK-KLONK! KA-POWIE!_

"Ittacha...!"

Everyone gaped on seeing the warlord's daughter now buried under a pile of CINDER BLOCKS. Seeing that, Ryūnosuke gaped before she pointed at Tariko. "You're the one who helped out with those 'Fifty' things I used to beat down Oyaji!"

"Of course I did, Ryū-chan!" Tariko said as she crossed her arms. "We may not put child abusers through their _**death scenes**_ like the Noukiites and the Avalonians would gladly do, but believe me, that shithead wouldn't last FIVE MINUTES back home with the way he goes on about you being a boy when you're clearly a very pretty GIRL!" She then perked as a tidal wave echoed in the background. "Damn!" she breathed out. "You can set an _**atomic clock**_ to this umale...!"

" _ **HOW DARE YOU CALL MY**_ **SON** _ **...?!**_ "

 _ **KA-POW!**_

" _ **I'M A CHICK, DAMN IT!**_ "

"I'm in orbiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit...!"

As people breathed out while Fujinami Fujimi disappeared into the late afternoon sky, Akatsuki shook her head in clear disapproval while her sisters all smirked. "Horrible man, forcing an elephant lady...!"

"'Elegant'!" Hibiki, Ikazuchi and Inazuma all chanted to correct her.

The dark-haired childish destroyer awked. "Well, you know what I mean," she then finally declared.

Tenryū sighed. "Okay, we're moving your shit down to Yokosuka, Ryū-chan," she said. "No way in hell we're standing by and allowing you to stick around this burg with that moron constantly riding your ass all the time!"

People gaped as they stared at the tomboyish cruiser, then they looked at a wide-eyed Ryūnosuke "You mean it, Tamiyo...?"

"Damn straight I do!" the elder sister of her class snarled. "Yeah, he made you tough, but if he's so fucking blind about what you really are, he shouldn't be your dad anymore. Ataru dumped his idiot parents! Why can't you?"

A shocked gasp echoed from nearby, making people turn to see a white-faced Moroboshi Kinshō standing there, staring wide-eyed at her own child...who hadn't looked her way ever since this open-air town hall meeting had started two hours before. Ryūnosuke blinked as she gazed at Ataru's mother, then she shook her head. "Yeah, you got a point there..."

"Ataru-kun!" Shinobu gasped. "You can't...!"

 _ **KK-KRUNCH!**_

"Nobody asked you for your opinion, slight," Tariko said.

Shinobu's head was now smashed into the running track thanks to a cinder block. As most of the other girls of Tomobiki High squawked on seeing one of their most powerful peers put down so easily, her film replica twin shook her head. "That, you had coming to you, Aneki," she said as she crossed her arms, making many people gape in shock at such a pronouncement.

"Stupid robot!" the leader of the Niphentaxians in the "holy city", Hoss bedai-Diyasbugh, snarled. "How DARE you...?!"

" _ **YIZIBA!**_ " Ataru barked.

All the aliens shrieked in terror as Hoss nearly died of apoplexy from hearing THAT word. Before one of Lum's supporters — by then, the Stormtroopers had helped pull the warlord's daughter out from under the pile of cinder blocks that Tariko just dropped on her — could shout at Ataru to stop saying THAT word, a flash of energy then nearly blinded everyone there!

"O-ha!"

Once people shook their heads to regain their vision, they all turned to gaze in Tariko's direction...

...then they gaped on seeing ANOTHER teenage girl in a slate grey-and-white version of the uniform worn by Ataru's metahuman sister, though she had a white lemiscape insignia on her chest. Seeing her, all the aliens wailed in heart-stopping terror on realizing WHO else had just joined them. All the humans there blinked before Megane gasped, "Ōsaka..?!"

 _KK-KRUNCH!_

"Try again, umale!" Tariko snapped after dropping a cinder block on his head.

People blinked. "But...th-that's her name...!" Kakugari sputtered.

 _KK-KLONK!_

"Try again!"

Tsuruya Rumiko sighed as people gazed at the heavyset member of the Stormtroopers, who also got brought down by a cinder block. "Ataru's right! You DO take STUPID PILLS in the morning!" she snarled, which made the boys all jolt. She then turned to gaze upon the current incarnation of the Goddess Who Walks Among Men, _**Infinity**_. "Where's Chiyo-chan, Ayumu-chan?"

"Rumiko-san! Ataru-san! Minna-san!"

People perked, then they turned...

"No...!" Hoss croaked on seeing Kasuga Ayumu's closest friends now walking towards them. All of them dressed in the fighting uniforms of They Who Must Never Be Named...with Takino Tomo and Mizuhara Koyomi bearing the clothing of two of the most well-known of that race: The Wild Warrior of Passion, _**Warwind**_...and the Mistress of the Mind-Dive, _**Soul Searcher.**_ "No...! Mercy, Ataru-sama!" he then gasped as he stared hopefully at his goddess' would-be "husband". "Mercy...!"

Tariko looked over to Hiei, who was standing nearby with her sisters. "'Mercy'?! Oi, Sarah! Is that good to eat?" she asked.

"Nah! It's a _**grovelling scene**_ , Tariko-chan!" Tomo said as she cracked the knuckles of her gloved hands, which made all the aliens wail as the spiky-haired teenager in the black one-piece bathing suit-like uniform with silver studded belt, thigh-high black boots and bicep-high gloves looked murderously at them. "And _**I — HATE — GROVELLING — SCENES!**_ " she snarled.

The aliens screamed in horror as she lunged over...

* * *

 _ **Ten minutes later...**_

"Here you go, Tomo-chan! Harumi hopes you weren't bothered by doing that!"

The current incarnation of one of the most powerful natives of Yiziba perked before she chuckled, nodding thanks as Haruna gave her a cup of tea. "Ah, it's cool, Harumi-chan! Yeah, they're just crunchy umale! Beating them up just BORES me!" Tomo then raised a finger as her normal devil-may-care smile crossed her face. "But hey! This is a big _**reveal scene**_ here! You got to always honour the laws of reveal scenes, which means showing the stupid umale what they're up against!"

"And Tomo-chan does that great!" Ayumu noted, she now seated to Ataru's right.

As the crowd of people stared with pity at the sea of broken bodies lying nearby — only Redet Ten had been spared from the wrath of Yiziba's equivalent to the Hulk; he was now ducking behind Ataru's mother as he tried not to soil himself at the thought of so many of the Scary People being so close to him — Rumiko smiled as she stared at Tariko. "So all I'd have to do is eat this black forest cake of yours — which has mesonium from the Great Crystal of Power where all the Power Jewels were forged — and the sentience of the Crystal will allow me to chose which 'gift' I can get to become a metahuman, right?"

As some of the boys from Class 2-4 tensed as they considered what a METAHUMAN version of their lesbian classmate would be like, Mihama Chiyo nodded. Like her classmates, the genius pre-teen was dressed in her golden fighting uniform, marking her as the Bright Genius of the Young Guns, _**Prodigy**_. "Hai, Rumiko-san! Once you're 'pre-Gifted', you'll be able to see what's best for you before you allow yourself to be Gifted! Once that's done, the Abyssals will see you're as much a 'crystal-blood' as an Avalonian, so they'll leave you alone...unless they're one of the stupid ones who want to fight anything."

Rumiko hummed as she considered that before she perked. "Whatever you decide to do is alright, dear," her mother Tsuruya Chōko then advised, which made many people gape. "I'm sure you'll get something that will work best for you!"

"Chōko-san!" Kinshō snapped. "You want your child to turn into a MONSTER?!"

"Shut up, you stupid block slut!" Rumiko's mother snapped, causing Ataru's mother to awk. "Your opinions on things NEVER count in this town! You don't have that idiot brother of yours to hide behind anymore!"

"Madame, please!" a dazed Hoss bedai-Diyasbugh croaked. "You can't allow your poor child to become one of THEM! They're the most uncivilized race in the whole of the UNIVERSE! If you allow Rumiko-sama to become...!"

"'Uncivilized'?!" Chōko demanded. "What do you call putting a FIVE HUNDRED MEGATON BOMB in the town Ginza, then?!"

" _ **WE WERE PROTECTING YOU!**_ "

"From WHO?!"

"From HIM!"

Hoss pointed to Ataru. People blinked as they looked his way, then Kinshō sighed. "Hai, he's an idiot and all that...!"

"And you're going to GROW OLD and DIE ALONE, yūjo!" Moroboshi Hiromi snapped.

Ataru's mother awked as her face turned very sallow while that message sank into her, then she sank to her knees, tears flowing down her face. "Who's going to take care of me when I'm old and grey...?" she moaned.

As many people shook their head at such a show of selfishness from that woman, Lum quaked. "Darling! She's your...!"

"Quiet, umale!" Tariko snarled. " _ **Civilized people**_ are talking here!"

The warlord's daughter shrieked. "You call US ' _ **uncivilized**_ '?!"

"Of course we do, Lum-chan!" Chiyo said with a churlish smile which seemed so alien on such a cute girl's face. As people stared at the young pre-teen genius from Itabashi, she started counting off things on her fingers. "Holding the world's oil supply hostage, altering the weather, using time travel devices to try to change history so it suits you, MULTIPLE counts of kidnapping, using technology to ALWAYS invade the private life of someone who had NO idea about your mating rituals, LYING to him about said mating rituals in the first place, acting like you know everything when you know NOTHING and not caring how much DAMAGE you've done and allowed to have done since you came here in the first place!"

As people gasped on hearing that accusation — given how famous she was even if they hadn't known until now that she was a metahuman, most of the people listening to this now were quick to accept Chiyo's words as truth — the leader of one of Yiziba's most tragic groups of metahumans crossed her arms. "You know what we did when we confronted people like that two thousand years ago!" she said. "We put them all through their DEATH SCENES! I think we SHOULD have done that to YOUR people two hundred and fifty years ago when you showed the galaxy how UNCIVLIZED your race really was!" As Lum croaked in horror at that statement from this tiny monster before her, Chiyo snorted. "Maybe we should go and finally FINISH OFF what we started back then!" As many of the girls from Tomobiki High all whooped in delight on hearing that while many of the boys awked in horror at such a threat to their favourite classmate, the bright genius shook her head. "The rest of the galaxy doesn't care a BIT about YOU!" She smirked as she moved back to the seat Ayumu had created for her, then she nodded her thanks as Kirishima handed her a cup of tea. "You people just can't stand the fact that no one's wants to play along with your silly, stupid sob story GAME you've used on everyone since you got out into space nine centuries ago!"

"Race-wide grovelling scene!" Tomo spat out in disgust. "Oi! I vote we go there now and pound the stupid umale on that planet into protoplasm! Accy needs time to get that shielding system put into place, remember?"

"So tempting," Koyomi stated as she shook her head. "Still, there's one thing that CAN be done. Eh, Tariko-chan?"

Tariko's eyebrow arched, then she held out her hand...

...making Lum shriek out as her horn-buds were literally YANKED out of her skull, floating over to Ataru's hand. As Ten gasped on seeing that, her cousin's would-be husband took a deep breath, then...

 _ **KK-KRACK!**_

 _ **KK-KRACK!**_

Lum howled in gut-wrenching pain as Ataru crushed the horns in his hands, a look of total contempt on his face. As Ten and Ran both winced on seeing that, he then calmly wiped his hands clear of the cartilage fragments. "Send them home, Tariko," he then breathed out. "This was a stupid idea from the start! I don't even want to LOOK at them anymore!"

"Sure!"

She snapped her fingers...

...and all the aliens save the Avalonians — even Redet Danu — vanished!

As all the boys gasped in horror on seeing that, Ataru stood up. "I'm out of here," he breathed out before walking away.

Several destroyers quickly moved to escort him out of the stadium as wails of grief escaped the Stormtroopers and many of their peers while Ataru ignored the stunned looks from the others gathered there. Watching him go, Yonaga could only smirk as she herself rose to depart. "Do the honourable thing," she then bade as she glared at Megane, making him quake.

With that, she also left. "She means _**kill yourself**_ , you lifeless fool," Megane's sister Tokiko snarled. "It'll spare the idiots in the Middle East all the trouble to send a _**suicide bomber**_ here to make a mess!"

As Megane croaked in horror at that statement, the others there exchanged horrified looks...

 _ **To Be Continued...?**_

* * *

 **WRITER'S NOTES**

Translation list: **Aneki** — Slang way of saying "elder sister"; **Ao-cha** — Vosian term for one's elder sister, used throughout most of the local cluster; **Bōsōzoku** — Literally "running out of control (of a vehicle) tribe", slang term for a motorcycle gang; **Taisa** — Navy captain, Army colonel, Air Force group captain; **Chūsa** — Navy commander, Army lieutenant colonel, Air Force wing commander; **Yūjo** — Prostitute; **Iinchō** — Literally "committee chairman", this is the term for a class representative in a school student council; **Fukuiinchō** — Literally "committee vice-chairman", this is the term for the deputy class representative in a school student council; **PSIA** — Public Security Intelligence Agency (in Japanese, **Kōanchōsa-chō** ), Japan's national intelligence agency; **Kempeitai** — Military Police Corps, the Imperial Japanese Army's provost service and internal security apparatus; **Haori** — Kimono top; **Hakama** — Pleated trousers; **Ushitora** — Tiger-cow; **Ch'uongtechhu** — Literally "angels of the house", this is the Noukiite term for the living spirit of a dwelling or ship; **Hanami** — Literally "flower viewing", this is the spring festival celebrated around March and April when cherry blossom trees bloom; **Saikō Jinseijutsu-ryū** — School of the Path of the Supreme Life; **Wa** — Peace or harmony, the general "feel" of any particular situation; **Yōma** — Monster; **Yōkai** — Ghost/phantom/strange apparition; **Arahitogami** — Literally "god in the form of man"; **Tuyuki** — Coyote; **Umale** — Same/sameness.

Minor character notes from _Urusei Yatsura_ , _The Senior Year_ and related stories:

 **Seu-Ch'ek Yech'a-Mung Hechnich'-Nakkyek** of Ait'uch Nehech (personal name **Kaep'** ) and **Seu-P'ye Yesu-Re Hechnich'-K'ekhech** of Ait'uch Nehech (personal name **Kyech** ) first appeared at this website in _Phoenix From the Ashes_. They're based on the _Koihime Musō_ versions of Tōtaku Chūei (Yue) and Ryofu Hōsen (Ren) respectfully, with physical modifications to make them **Noukiites** (who first appeared in _The Senior Year_ story "Arrive Reiko-chan"). Think of both Yue and Ren with Klingon-like forehead ridges under their hair and flower tattoos on their cheeks and you get the right idea.

 **Miyake Saiko** , **Mendō Tachiko** , **Aisuru Tokiko** , **Urayamu Takako** , **Shitto Nijiko** , **Daremo Mitsuko** , **Redet Danu** and **Moroboshi Hiromi** are the names I'm giving to the "film replica" characters who first appeared in the _Yatsura_ manga story "Love and Violence" (manga chapter #78) as they are literally reborn into Avalonian bodies; noted that **Avalonians** (who first appeared in _The Senior Year_ story "What Price For Love?", as did the **Niphentaxians** ) only come in female form. Note that in the original manga story, the Stormtroopers had fallen off to the wayside, replaced by **Shirai Kōsuke** (who looked like a freckled version of **Perm** [ **Shitto Kōsuke** ]). The family names for the Stormtroopers are taken from what I used in _The Senior Year_ and the name for Ataru's replica is taken from _Phoenix From The Ashes_.

 **Inu Chigaiko** first appeared in _The Senior Year_ story "Darling's Secret Date".

 **Tsuruya Rumiko** is my name for the girl who often appeared in early manga stories that looks a lot like Takahashi-sensei herself, such as "Food Fight" (manga chapter #106); on the title page, she's at the left of the screen in the inwards curve of running people. Her being a lesbian is my invention, of course.

 **Chikamatsu Fusae** is my name for the school nurse that appeared in the manga story "A Flying Start" (manga chapter #33).

 **Hanawa Mitsu** first appeared in the manga story "Private Tutor" (manga chapter #48).

 **Marubeya Momoe** and **Gekasawa Kumiko** both first appeared in the manga story "Even Though I Wait For You" (manga chapter #27). Their family names are my invention.

 **Mifune Hideyuki** was planned to be a character in a side story to _The Senior Year_ written by Mike Smith which hasn't been published yet.

The "dream demon" spoken of here is **Mujaki** , who first appeared in the manga story "Waking To A Nightmare" (manga chapter #31) and was the main antagonist in the second _Yatsura_ movie, _Beautiful Dreamer_. Note in the storyline of _The Seventh Shipgirl_ , that movie occurred on 6-7 February 2017.

 **Kanzaki Ryūha** is a character created by Depecheion for various Anime Addventure chapters written after I wrote something there.

 **Ōgi ot'ndai-Zkuhsbagh** first appeared in _The Senior Year_ story "What Price For Love?"

The **Dappya** originally appeared in Takahashi-sensei's first manga story, _Katte na Yatsura_.

The story about **Wokyū** is based on the dōjinshi _Haruna Weather_ by Hisahiko. The truth about her is explained in Part 12 of _The Seventh Shipgirl_.

A list of shipgirls and their human names in order of nation of service:

 _ **ITALY  
**_ (ship prefix **MM** [ **Marina Militaire** ] ["Military Navy"])  
 **MM Roma** — Roberta Ansaldo

 _ **JAPAN  
**_ (ship prefix **THG** [ **Tennō Heika Gunkan** ] ["Warship of His Majesty the Heavenly Sovereign"])  
 **THG Yonaga** — Itō Yoiko  
 **THG Yamato** — Itō Yasuko  
 **THG Shinano** — Itō Shizuka  
 **THG Akagi** — Fujita Anna  
 **THG Kaga** — Fujita Kei  
 **THG Kongō** — Chihaya Anne  
 **THG Hiei** — Chihaya Sarah  
 **THG Kirishima** — Chihaya Isabel  
 **THG Haruna** — Chihaya Harumi  
 **THG Tenryū** — Shimosuwa Tamiyo  
 **THG Tatsuta** — Shimosuwa Tadako  
 **THG Akatsuki** — Akamatsu Tsukiko  
 **THG Hibiki** — Akamatsu Himeko  
 **THG Ikazuchi** — Akamatsu Ikue  
 **THG Inazuma** — Akamatsu Inoue

 _ **UNITED STATES  
**_ (ship prefix **USS** [ **United States Ship** ])  
 **USS New Jersey** — Anne Katharine "Kathy" Hyde


End file.
